Bereavement Support
Grief is difficult because it cannot be “fixed.” You can’t fast-forward through it, and it rarely disappears overnight. For many people, the intensity of grief changes with time — it may come less often, or feel different — but the love and the sense of loss can remain.
This Canada guide brings together practical coping tips, guidance on when to seek support, what grief can feel like, and a directory of trusted Canadian organisations, resources and helplines.
On this page
For practical next steps after a death, see What to do after a death or return to CA Help & Advice.
Urgent help in Canada
If you feel unable to stay safe, or you are having thoughts of ending your life, get urgent support immediately.
- In an emergency: call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.
- For free, confidential support 24/7: call or text 9-8-8 anywhere in Canada.
- For youth: Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868.
10 practical ways to cope with grief
You can’t make grief disappear, but small, practical actions can make the pain more bearable and help you get through the next hour, day, and week.
- Express your feelings. Talk to someone you trust, write privately, or use a journal if talking feels hard.
- Look after your body. Aim for “minimum care”: water, small meals, and rest when possible.
- Try a support group. Listening can help even if you don’t want to share yet.
- Accept practical help. Let someone handle errands, admin, or meals when you can’t.
- Keep a simple routine. Basic structure (sleep, meals, a short walk) can reduce overwhelm.
- Move gently. A short walk or light activity can reduce stress and help sleep.
- Limit overload. Reduce big decisions and social pressure early on.
- Avoid numbing with alcohol or drugs. Relief is usually temporary and can make grief harder long-term.
- Stay connected. Low-pressure contact can help. If you laugh, it’s okay.
- Create a token of remembrance. A photo, keepsake, memory box, or ritual can keep love present.
When to get bereavement support
Grief is unpredictable and unique. Consider professional support if grief feels overwhelming or stops you from functioning day-to-day.
- Finding it extremely hard to get out of bed
- Avoiding the grieving process and pushing away painful feelings
- Neglecting yourself or your family
- Withdrawing from friends, work, school, or everyday activities
- Intense mood swings for an extended period
- Using constant busyness to avoid grieving
- Using alcohol or drugs more frequently to cope
- Feeling persistently hopeless, numb, or unsafe
- Not being able to do everyday activities for weeks or months
- Thoughts of ending your life (seek urgent help immediately)
Many of these signs can be common early in bereavement. If they persist or worsen over time, grief counselling, therapy, or a support group can help — and support can still be beneficial even years after a loss.
Grief vs depression
Grief and clinical depression can look similar: low mood, exhaustion, withdrawal, changes in sleep, and difficulty concentrating.
Grief often comes in waves and can be triggered by dates, places, music, or memories. Depression can feel more constant and unchanging. If you feel persistently hopeless, numb, or unsafe, speak to a clinician or access urgent support.
Understanding the grieving process
There are many theories about grief. None are rules. They are frameworks that can help explain common patterns in how grief affects thoughts, emotions, and daily life.
Common approaches include the dual process model, meaning-making (rebuilding meaning after loss), continuing bonds (staying connected through memory), and the five stages of grief.
The five stages of grief (overview)
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are often used as a simple way to talk about grief. These stages do not happen in a set order and may repeat. Acceptance does not mean forgetting — it means learning to live alongside the loss.
Coping with grief after a death related to alcohol or drugs (Canada)
Losing someone to alcohol or drug use is devastating. Alongside shock and sadness, you may be dealing with unanswered questions, stigma, complicated emotions, and sometimes involvement from police, paramedics, or a coroner/ medical examiner (processes vary by province and territory).
On this section
Why grief after alcohol or drugs can feel different
Bereavement after alcohol or drug use can come with extra layers that make everything feel heavier:
- Suddenness or trauma (overdose, poisoning, unexpected death)
- Unanswered questions about what happened and why
- Stigma, judgement, or silence from others
- Complicated relationships, especially where addiction was involved
- Practical stress (paperwork, investigations, media or community attention)
None of this makes your grief “different” in value — it simply means you may need different kinds of support.
Secondary loss and “disenfranchised” grief (stigma)
Secondary loss (grieving more than once)
When substance use has been part of someone’s life, bereavement can feel like the final wave in a long series of losses. Many people describe grieving before the death as well — for the person they remember, the relationship they hoped for, and the stability that addiction can take away.
Disenfranchised grief (when others don’t “make space” for your loss)
Grief after an alcohol- or drug-related death is sometimes met with silence, judgement, or discomfort. This can leave you feeling like you have to grieve quietly — or that you’re not “allowed” to talk about what happened.
- “They brought it on themselves.”
- “It’s not the same as other deaths.”
- “It’s too uncomfortable to talk about.”
That reaction has a name: disenfranchised grief — grief that isn’t properly recognised or supported by others. Your grief is real, valid, and worthy of care.
What you might feel (and why it’s normal)
Grief isn’t just sadness. It can be a mix of emotions that change hour to hour. You might recognise:
- Numbness / shock — feeling unreal, blank, or unable to cry
- Anger — at the world, systems, services, or yourself
- Guilt — replaying conversations, “if only I’d…” thoughts
- Anxiety — fear for other loved ones, panic, feeling unsafe
- Relief — especially after long-term addiction, chaos, or suffering
- Shame — often caused by stigma, not by anything you’ve done
A note about relief
Relief is one of the most misunderstood grief reactions. Feeling relieved does not mean you didn’t love them. It can mean you’re relieved the crisis, suffering, or uncertainty has ended.
What to do if there is an investigation
Depending on the circumstances, there may be involvement from police, a coroner, or a medical examiner (terminology and processes vary across Canada). This can delay paperwork and create added stress.
- Ask what happens next, what information you can expect, and the likely timeframes
- Write down names, phone numbers, and reference/case numbers (memory is often affected by shock)
- Bring someone you trust to meetings or calls so you don’t have to hold it all alone
- If details feel overwhelming, it’s okay to limit exposure and ask for summaries instead
Coping strategies that actually help
These are small actions that can make grief more bearable — not by “fixing” it, but by helping you carry it.
- Give your feelings somewhere safe to go. Talk to someone you trust, write privately, or speak to a counsellor/helpline.
- Protect your body (sleep, food, hydration). Aim for “minimum care” targets. If sleep/appetite problems persist, seek clinical support.
- Avoid numbing with alcohol or drugs. If you notice you’re using substances to cope, reach out early for non-judgemental help.
- Choose the right kind of support. Some people prefer specialist services where they don’t have to explain the context.
- Lower expectations (especially early on). Grief affects concentration and motivation. Keep life simple. Delegate admin where you can.
- Build a “hard day” plan. One person to text, one grounding activity, one place you can go, one support line.
- Create a gentle way to remember them. A photo album, candle ritual, memory box, or letter can help love continue in a safe way.
Where to get Canadian support
If you’d prefer support that understands complicated grief and sudden death, start with:
- 9-8-8 (call or text) if you need urgent support
- Canadian Virtual Hospice for grief and loss guidance
- Local hospice grief programs (often free or low-cost)
Full Canadian support listings are below.
Canadian organisations & helplines
General bereavement support
Canadian Virtual Hospice
Website: www.virtualhospice.ca
Email: info@virtualhospice.ca
Canadian Grief Alliance
Website: www.canadiangriefalliance.ca
Bereaved Families of Ontario (BFO)
Website: www.bfo-ontario.org
Children and young people
Kids Help Phone
Website: kidshelpphone.ca
Helpline: 1-800-668-6868
Text CONNECT to 686868 (24/7) • Online chat via website
After the loss of a partner
The Darling Doula (widow & grief resources)
Website: thedarlingdoula.com
Resource site (not an emergency service)
After the loss of a child
The Compassionate Friends (Canada)
Website: www.tcfcanada.net
Local chapter availability varies
Miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal loss or infant loss
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Centre (PILSC)
Website: www.pilsc.org
The Butterfly Run (resources and community)
Website: www.butterflyrun.ca
Resources and local/community connections
Suicide crisis and urgent emotional support
9-8-8: Suicide Crisis Helpline (Canada)
Website: 988.ca
Helpline: 988
Call or text 9-8-8 • 24/7
Talk Suicide Canada (Crisis Services Canada)
Website: talksuicide.ca
Helpline: 1-833-456-4566
Text 45645 (hours can vary) • See website for details
Death related to alcohol or drugs
9-8-8: Suicide Crisis Helpline (Canada)
Website: 988.ca
Helpline: 988
Call or text • 24/7
Canadian Virtual Hospice (Grief & Loss)
Website: www.virtualhospice.ca
Email: info@virtualhospice.ca
2SLGBTQ+ support (selected options)
LGBT YouthLine (Ontario)
Website: www.youthline.ca
Hours vary • Peer support
Trans Lifeline
Website: translifeline.org
Check website for hours and region coverage
Other helpful options
Emergency services (Canada)
Helpline: 911
Local hospice grief programs (province/territory)
A note about seeking support
Seeking help does not mean you are failing to cope. It means you are taking care of yourself during one of life’s hardest experiences. Grief doesn’t need fixing — but it does deserve compassion, time, and support.
You may also find these Canada pages useful: What to do after a death • Planning a funeral • Legal • Government services