Bereavement Support
Grief is difficult because it cannot be “fixed.” You can’t fast-forward through it, and it rarely disappears overnight. For many people, the intensity of grief changes with time — it may come less often, or feel different — but the love and the sense of loss can remain.
This Ireland guide brings together practical coping tips, guidance on when to seek support, what grief can feel like, and a directory of trusted Irish bereavement organisations and resources.
On this page
For practical next steps after a death, see What to do after a death or return to IE Help & Advice.
Urgent help in Ireland
If you feel unable to stay safe, or you are having thoughts of ending your life, get urgent support immediately.
- In an emergency: call 999 or 112 or go to A&E.
- For confidential support 24/7: Samaritans on 116 123.
- If you can’t speak on the phone, many services offer webchat options via their websites.
10 practical ways to cope with grief
You can’t make grief disappear, but small, practical actions can make the pain more bearable and help you get through the next hour, day, and week.
- Express your feelings. Talk to someone you trust, write privately, or use a journal if talking feels hard.
- Look after your body. Aim for “minimum care” targets: water, small meals, and rest when possible.
- Keep a simple routine. Basic structure (sleep, meals, a short walk) can reduce overwhelm.
- Ask for practical help. Choose one concrete task when someone offers (meals, school runs, calls, paperwork).
- Try a support group. Listening can help even if you don’t want to share yet.
- Lower expectations. Grief affects concentration and motivation. Keep life simple where possible.
- Avoid numbing with alcohol or drugs. Relief is usually temporary and can make grief harder long-term.
- Stay connected. Low-pressure contact can help. If you laugh, it’s okay.
- Create a token of remembrance. A photo, keepsake, memory box, ritual, or letter can keep love present.
- Plan support for hard dates. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and “firsts” can be intense — plan who you’ll be with and what might help.
When to get bereavement support
Grief is unpredictable and unique. Consider professional support if grief feels overwhelming or stops you from functioning day-to-day.
- Finding it extremely hard to get out of bed for an extended period
- Neglecting food, sleep, hygiene, medication, or responsibilities
- Feeling persistently hopeless, numb, or unsafe
- Withdrawing completely and avoiding all support
- Using alcohol or drugs more frequently to cope
- Ongoing panic symptoms or feeling constantly on edge
- Feeling stuck in intense guilt, blame, or anger that doesn’t ease
- Not being able to do essential daily activities (work/school/parenting)
- Thinking life isn’t worth living, or having thoughts of self-harm
These signs can be common early in bereavement. If they persist for weeks or months, bereavement counselling or therapy can help — and support can still be beneficial even years after a loss.
Where people commonly seek help in Ireland
- Your GP (for support options and referrals)
- Bereavement counselling services (community, hospice, private)
- Support groups (local community and national organisations)
- School or college counselling services (for young people)
Grief vs depression
Grief and clinical depression can look similar: low mood, exhaustion, withdrawal, changes in sleep, and difficulty concentrating.
Grief often comes in waves and can be triggered by dates, places, music, or memories. Depression can feel more constant and unchanging. If you feel persistently hopeless, numb, or unsafe, speak to your GP or seek urgent help.
Understanding the grieving process
There are many theories about grief. None are rules. They are frameworks that can help explain common patterns in how grief affects thoughts, emotions, and daily life.
Common approaches include the dual process model (moving between grief and restoration), Worden’s tasks of mourning, meaning-making (rebuilding meaning after loss), and the five stages of grief.
The five stages of grief (overview)
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are often used as a simple way to talk about grief. These stages do not happen in a set order and may repeat. Acceptance does not mean forgetting — it means learning to live alongside the loss.
Coping with grief after a death related to alcohol or drugs (Ireland)
Losing someone to alcohol or drug use is devastating. Alongside shock and sadness, you may be dealing with unanswered questions, stigma, complicated emotions, and sometimes an investigation after an unexpected death. This section offers practical ways to cope and where to look for support in Ireland.
On this section
Why grief after alcohol or drugs can feel different
Bereavement after alcohol or drug use can come with extra layers that make everything feel heavier:
- Suddenness or trauma, especially with overdose or unexpected death
- Unanswered questions about what happened and why
- Stigma, judgement, or silence from others
- Complicated relationships, especially where addiction was involved
- Practical stress such as paperwork, delays, or investigations
None of this makes your grief “different” in value — it simply means you may need different kinds of support.
Secondary loss and “disenfranchised” grief (stigma)
Secondary loss (grieving more than once)
When addiction has been part of someone’s life, bereavement can feel like the final wave in a long series of losses. Many people describe grieving before the death as well — for the person they remember, the relationship they hoped for, and the stability that addiction can take away.
Disenfranchised grief (when others don’t “make space” for your loss)
Grief after an alcohol- or drug-related death is sometimes met with silence, judgement, or discomfort. This can leave you feeling like you have to grieve quietly — or that you’re not “allowed” to talk about what happened.
- “They brought it on themselves.”
- “It’s not the same as other deaths.”
- “It’s too uncomfortable to talk about.”
That reaction has a name: disenfranchised grief — grief that isn’t properly recognised or supported by others. Your grief is real, valid, and worthy of care.
What you might feel (and why it’s normal)
Grief isn’t just sadness. It can be a mix of emotions that change hour to hour. You might recognise:
- Numbness / shock — feeling unreal, blank, or unable to cry
- Anger — at the world, systems, or yourself
- Guilt — replaying conversations, “if only I’d…” thoughts
- Anxiety — fear for other loved ones, panic, feeling unsafe
- Relief — especially after long-term chaos or suffering
- Shame — often caused by stigma, not by anything you’ve done
A note about relief
Relief is one of the most misunderstood grief reactions. Feeling relieved does not mean you didn’t love them. It can mean you’re relieved the crisis, suffering, or uncertainty has ended.
If there is an investigation after an unexpected death
When a death is sudden or unexpected, there may be formal processes that take time. This can feel re-traumatising, especially if you’re waiting for clarity or documents.
- Ask who your point of contact is and how updates will be shared
- Ask what documents are available now, and what may come later
- Let someone you trust help you keep track of calls, dates, and paperwork
- Protect your mental wellbeing — it’s okay to take breaks from information when it’s overwhelming
Coping strategies that actually help
These are small actions that can make grief more bearable — not by “fixing” it, but by helping you carry it.
- Give your feelings somewhere safe to go. Talk to someone you trust, write privately, or speak to a counsellor/support line.
- Protect your body (sleep, food, hydration). Aim for “minimum care” targets and ask for help if sleep/appetite problems persist.
- Avoid numbing with alcohol or drugs. If you notice you’re using substances to cope, reach out early for non-judgemental support.
- Choose specialist support if you need it. Some people find it easier to talk where they don’t have to explain addiction-related context.
- Lower expectations. Grief affects memory, concentration, and energy. Keep life simple and delegate admin where possible.
- Build a “hard day” plan. One person to text, one grounding activity, one place you can go, one support option.
- Create a gentle way to remember them. A photo album, candle ritual, memory box, or letter can help love continue in a safe way.
Where to get Ireland support
If you’d prefer support that understands addiction-related bereavement, start with HSE pathways and local counselling services, and consider speaking to your GP for referrals and options.
- HSE: pathways to local alcohol/drug supports
- Irish Hospice Foundation: grief information and signposting
- Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7) if you need someone urgently
Full Ireland support listings are below.
Ireland organisations & resources
General bereavement support
Irish Hospice Foundation (IHF)
Website: hospicefoundation.ie
HSE (Health Service Executive) — Bereavement supports
Website: www2.hse.ie
Grief support through local hospices
Children and young people
Rainbows Ireland
Website: www.rainbowsireland.ie
Barnardos — Family support
Website: www.barnardos.ie
Availability varies by region — use the website to find local services.
Jigsaw
Website: www.jigsaw.ie
Check local availability and age ranges for your area.
After the loss of a partner
Irish Widows and Widowers Association (IWWA)
Website: iwwa.ie
Local groups and events vary across Ireland.
After the loss of a child
The Compassionate Friends (Ireland)
Website: www.compassionatefriends.ie
Pregnancy loss, stillbirth, neonatal loss or infant loss
Irish Hospice Foundation — Pregnancy & infant loss resources
Website: hospicefoundation.ie
Use the site search for pregnancy/infant loss support resources.
HSE — Pregnancy loss / maternity supports
Website: www2.hse.ie
Suicide and crisis-related supports
Samaritans Ireland
Website: www.samaritans.org/ireland
Phone: 116 123
Free to call, 24/7.
Pieta
Website: www.pieta.ie
HSE — Mental health supports
Website: www2.hse.ie
Alcohol and drug-related supports
HSE — Drug and alcohol supports
Website: www2.hse.ie
Local family support / bereavement counselling
Other helpful organisations
Aware
Website: www.aware.ie
Not grief-specific, but useful if low mood persists or feels constant.
ALONE
Website: alone.ie
A note about seeking support
Seeking help does not mean you are failing to cope. It means you are taking care of yourself during one of life’s hardest experiences. Grief doesn’t need fixing — but it does deserve compassion, time, and support.
You may also find these Ireland pages useful: What to do after a death • Planning a funeral • Legal • Government services