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Velanora Memorial Registry

Singapore • Help & support

Bereavement support in Singapore: the first days, crisis moments, insomnia nights, wake pressure, money stress, executor overload, youth support — practical steps and where to get help

Last reviewed: 23 February 2026

Warm — but clinically solid

This guide follows crisis-response principles, psychological first aid, trauma-informed care, and nervous system stabilisation (breathing, grounding, reducing overwhelm). It doesn’t replace emergency medical care or diagnosis, but it can help you lower the intensity and connect to real support quickly.

Red flags — choose urgent or clinical help sooner

  • Suicidal urges feel strong, or you have a plan / access to means
  • No sleep for 3+ nights and panic/confusion is escalating
  • You feel detached from reality and unsafe (severe dissociation)
  • Alcohol is increasing or you can’t sleep without drinking
  • After trauma/violence/sudden death: flashbacks or images won’t stop

If immediate danger, go to Urgent. If a helpline is busy, use Switching (1771 ↔ 1767) and don’t wait alone.

10 seconds is enough

Inhale gently. Exhale longer. Drop your shoulders once. The goal right now can be simply: “get through today.”

If you also need the practical admin steps, see What to do after a death.

Urgent: when you need safety now (Singapore)

If you feel unsafe, choose safety — life first

If you cannot keep yourself (or someone else) safe, if there is violence risk, or panic is turning into dangerous physical symptoms, move to emergency channels immediately.

  • Ambulance/fire: 995
  • Police: 999
  • If you cannot speak safely: SMS 70999 (Police) / SMS 70995 (SCDF)

Read-this sentence: “Someone close to me has died. I’m not safe right now. I need urgent help. Please send assistance.”

If you’re unsure whether it “counts”, that hesitation can be a warning sign. Choose the safer option.

Emergency numbers

Emergency ambulance / fire (SCDF) — 995

If life is at risk right now: severe chest pain, breathing trouble, collapse, heavy bleeding, overdose, serious injury, dangerous confusion, or you cannot keep someone safe.

Call: 995

Police emergency — 999

If there is immediate danger, violence, threats, stalking, or you need urgent protection.

Call: 999

Emergency SMS (Police) — 70999

If it’s not safe to call 999, or you cannot speak. Text emergency details and location as clearly as you can.

Call: 70999

Sender ID changed to 70999 (standardised Home Team sender IDs). Use only for emergencies.

Emergency SMS (SCDF) — 70995

Emergency SMS linked to 995 services (commonly for callers who are hard-of-hearing or have speech impairments). Use only for emergencies.

Call: 70995

First days: a minimum survival plan

Early grief can crash your body first. The goal is not “grieving well.” The goal is building a minimum safety floor to get through the next 24–72 hours.

72-hour rule: reduce demands (this is the correct move)

  • Water + one bite (soup, bread, banana). Tiny counts.
  • Lie down (even if sleep doesn’t come, rest lowers arousal).
  • Pick 1 coordinator for messages/logistics so you’re not flooded.
  • Only 3 tasks per day. Everything else can wait.
  • Delay major decisions (quit jobs, big relocations, relationship ruptures).

If ‘I’m fine’ is isolating you

Being polite can hide risk. A small request is enough.

Example: “I can’t be alone tonight. Can you stay 10 minutes?”

One-minute note when your brain won’t work

  • Right now I feel: numb / panicky / sleepless / crying / empty (pick one)
  • My minimum today: water + one bite + lie down
  • One person to contact: ______
  • If risk rises: 1771 / 1767 (switch if busy). If immediate danger: 995 / 999.

Insomnia / panic nights: the 10-minute “tonight plan”

Nights amplify grief. Don’t argue with your feelings—lower your nervous system activation. If immediate danger: Urgent.

10-minute plan (in order)

  1. Breathing: inhale 4, exhale 6 (10 rounds)
  2. Cold: wash face/hands with cool water or hold something cold 30–60 seconds
  3. Ground: press your feet into the floor 10 times — “I’m here.”
  4. Sentence: “This is a wave. It will come down.”
  5. Don’t be alone: text one person: “Can you stay with me 10 minutes?”

If starting feels impossible

One line is enough: “I can’t be alone tonight.” Explanations can come later.

If a line is busy: switch immediately (this is the skill)

Switch 1771 ↔ 1767. The goal is connection. If risk escalates, move to 995 / 999.

Need help in your language?

If language is a barrier, say: “I need an interpreter for [language].” They may try to support or route you.

If you cannot communicate and it’s an emergency, use 995/999 or Emergency SMS 70995/70999.

During the wake (void deck / funeral parlour)

Wake survival: keep dignity — without collapsing

  • Designate one “wake coordinator” for logistics and guest flow.
  • Take 10-minute breaks in a quiet spot (stairwell, outside, bathroom). Schedule them.
  • Keep water within reach. Dehydration worsens panic and headaches.
  • If guests say “you must be strong”: you can nod and step away. You don’t owe performance.
  • Protect one small anchor: one meal, one shower, one short lie-down per day.

If family dynamics are tense

If there is conflict, control, or intimidation, your priority is safety—then grief. If you feel unsafe: call 999 (or NAVH 1800-777-0000 for support and reporting routes).

If you’re executor / next-of-kin: grief + admin is a double load

Name the split: you are grieving AND managing systems

People may treat you like a project manager when you are in shock. This mismatch is a major reason people deteriorate after funerals.

A simple protection plan (works even if you feel numb)

  • Pick one “admin buddy” to sit with you during calls/forms (even silently).
  • One admin block per day (30–60 minutes). Stop when the timer ends.
  • Don’t do late-night paperwork. Nights are riskier for spirals.
  • If you feel you’re sliding into danger: switch from admin to safety (10-minute plan + 1771/1767).

If you need practical routing

Start with MSF ComCare 1800-111-2222 for community support and referrals; for CPF-related questions call CPF 1800-227-1188.

Financial pressure after bereavement

Financial stress is common — and help exists

Funeral costs, CPF issues, housing loans, and day-to-day expenses can feel overwhelming—especially when you are running on no sleep.

  • MSF ComCare: short-to-medium term financial assistance and routing
  • SSAs / FSCs: community-based support and practical help
  • CPF Board: nomination and member-related guidance

Start with 1800-111-2222 and say “ComCare”.

If money stress is pushing you into danger

If thoughts turn into “I can’t do this / I want to disappear,” treat this as a crisis signal, not a financial problem. Call 1771 or 1767. If immediate danger: 995/999.

Youth & students: grief can look different

Young people often grieve in waves—crying, then gaming, then asking the same question repeatedly. The goal is consistent truth + safety + routine support.

What to say (simple, true, safe)

Example:

“I have a very sad update. ____ died. Their body stopped working and they can’t come back. We are all sad, but you will be cared for and safe. You can ask me anything.”

Avoid “went to sleep” for children—it can create sleep fear.

When to escalate fast

  • Severe insomnia/nightmares + sharp drop in school function
  • Self-harm, “I want to die” statements, dangerous risk-taking
  • Long-lasting panic, isolation, or substance use starting

Crisis: 1771 / 1767. Immediate danger: 995 / 999. Youth support: CHAT / TOUCHline.

If you’re supporting someone: what to say (and avoid)

Helpful phrases (short, not fixing)

  • “I’m here. You don’t need to explain.”
  • “Do you want quiet company, or one practical thing done?”
  • “What would make tonight 5% less hard?”
  • “I can handle food / transport / messages / one form.”

Phrases to avoid (even if meant kindly)

  • “Be strong” / “Time heals” / “Move on”
  • Comparisons: “I know exactly how you feel”
  • Anything that starts with “At least…”
  • Pressuring fast recovery or normal performance

If you see risk: don’t leave them alone — connect together

  • Increasing “I want to disappear” statements
  • Insomnia + confusion + alcohol + impulsivity
  • Plan / access to means

Immediate danger: 995/999. Otherwise call 1771 or 1767 with them. If busy, switch immediately.

A grief map (not rules)

Grief is not a straight line. This map is to reduce self-blame and give you orientation—not to judge you.

Shock / numbness

hours → weeks

You may feel unreal, robotic, or strangely calm—or you may cry uncontrollably. Both can be normal. It’s not a character flaw; it can be a nervous-system response.

Common

  • sleep collapse
  • appetite loss
  • memory gaps
  • panic waves
  • physical tremors

Escalate sooner if

  • no sleep for 3+ nights with rising panic/confusion
  • you cannot stay safe alone

‘Rewind’ thinking (guilt, anger, bargaining)

weeks → months

Your brain may replay scenes to search for control: “If only I…” This is common—especially after sudden deaths.

Common

  • irritability
  • avoidance
  • blame loops
  • restlessness
  • insomnia

Escalate sooner if

  • guilt turns into “I should be punished / disappear”
  • increasing alcohol use to sleep

After the funeral / wake: the quiet drop

weeks → months

When guests stop coming and the logistics end, many people feel worse. The adrenaline falls, and loneliness rises.

Common

  • hollow heaviness
  • fatigue
  • tears in private
  • loss of interest
  • social withdrawal

Rebuilding (not forgetting)

months → years

You don’t ‘get over’ it—you learn to carry it with more space between waves. Triggers can still hit (anniversaries, festivals, birthdays).

Common

  • waves become shorter
  • routine returns
  • small future planning reappears

Contacts (Singapore): emergency + crisis + specialised

Busy line? Switching is the correct move

Don’t wait alone. Switch immediately: 1771 ↔ 1767. If risk is immediate: 995 / 999.

Emergency

Emergency ambulance / fire (SCDF) — 995

If life is at risk right now: severe chest pain, breathing trouble, collapse, heavy bleeding, overdose, serious injury, dangerous confusion, or you cannot keep someone safe.

Call: 995

Police emergency — 999

If there is immediate danger, violence, threats, stalking, or you need urgent protection.

Call: 999

Emergency SMS (Police) — 70999

If it’s not safe to call 999, or you cannot speak. Text emergency details and location as clearly as you can.

Call: 70999

Sender ID changed to 70999 (standardised Home Team sender IDs). Use only for emergencies.

Emergency SMS (SCDF) — 70995

Emergency SMS linked to 995 services (commonly for callers who are hard-of-hearing or have speech impairments). Use only for emergencies.

Call: 70995

Crisis support (24/7)

National Mindline — 1771 (24/7)

Round-the-clock mental health support and routing to care. Use this for crisis waves, panic, severe insomnia, intrusive thoughts, or when you’re afraid of what you might do.

Call: 1771

If immediate danger: 995/999. If one line is busy, switch immediately (e.g., 1771 ↔ 1767).

Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) — 1767 (24/7)

24/7 emotional support, including suicidal thoughts and acute distress. If you can’t stay safe, call now.

Call: 1767

If a line is busy: switch to 1771 or emergency services (995/999) based on risk.

Youth / students

CHAT (Community Health Assessment Team) — 6493 6500 / 6501

Mental health service for young people (commonly 16–30). If you’re a youth struggling after a death—sleep, panic, numbness, self-harm urges—CHAT can help you get clarity and next steps.

TOUCHline — 1800 377 2252

Talk to trained counsellors (youth and general mental wellness support). Useful when grief is affecting daily functioning, school stress, family conflict, or you just need a calm human voice.

Call: 1800 377 2252

Hours: Mon–Fri, 9:00am–6:00pm (excluding public holidays)

Website: touch.org.sg

Financial support (routing)

Financial stress after bereavement — start with MSF ComCare

Funeral costs, housing loan worries, sudden income loss, and daily expenses can feel crushing—especially while you’re grieving. Help exists, and you don’t have to solve it alone.

Call: 1800-111-2222

Hours: 7:00am–12:00 midnight daily

Website: familyassist.msf.gov.sg

Say “ComCare” when prompted. Ask for short-to-medium term assistance and referral to a nearby Social Service Agency / Family Service Centre if appropriate.

CPF Board (nominations / withdrawals / member queries)

If bereavement admin involves CPF nominations, member queries, or what documents are needed—CPF can guide you to the correct process.

Call: 1800-227-1188+65-6227-1188

Hours: Mon–Fri, 8:30am–5:30pm (typical hours; check before calling)

Website: cpf.gov.sg

Ongoing support (entry points)

Polyclinic / GP / hospital A&E (24-hour medical assessment if needed)

If severe insomnia, panic, dehydration, chest pain, fainting, or you’re medically unwell: any 24-hour clinic or hospital A&E can assess and stabilise you.

If you’re unsure whether it’s medical: choose safety and call 995, especially for chest pain, breathing issues, collapse, overdose, or severe confusion.

Community support (SSAs, FSCs, hospital medical social workers)

For ongoing grief support, caregiver strain, or practical help. Social service agencies can support coping, family dynamics, and link you to counselling or financial aid.

If you don’t know where to start, call MSF ComCare (1800-111-2222) and ask for the nearest support point.

Special situations

National Anti-Violence & Sexual Harassment Helpline (NAVH) — 1800-777-0000 (24/7)

If grief is happening alongside violence, intimidation, coercion, or abuse at home: safety comes first. NAVH can help you report and access support and protection.

Call: 1800-777-0000

Website: msf.gov.sg

If immediate danger: call 999. If you need medical help: 995.

AWARE Helpline — 1800 777 5555

Support if you’re dealing with family violence or safety concerns, including guidance and next steps.

Call: 1800 777 5555

Website: aware.org.sg

Immediate danger: 999. If you’re unsure, choose safety.

Support for FDWs and migrant workers (employment + wellbeing routing)

If you’re a foreign domestic worker (FDW) or migrant worker who has lost someone and you’re struggling (sleep, panic, isolation, employer issues): you deserve support and language-accessible help.

If you are in crisis right now, call 1771 or 1767 (24/7). If you’re in immediate danger, call 995/999.

Centre for Domestic Employees (CDE) — 1800 2255 233 (24-hour helpline)

Support for migrant domestic workers and employers on domestic employment-related issues. Can be a stabilising entry point if your situation involves work constraints.

Migrant Workers’ Centre (MWC) — 6536 2692 (24-hour helpline)

24-hour helpline for migrant workers needing assistance on employment-related issues (often offered in multiple languages).

Call: 6536 2692

Website: mwc.org.sg

If the death was by suicide (support for suicide loss survivors)

Suicide bereavement can carry shock, ‘why’ loops, guilt, anger, stigma, and trauma. SOS provides dedicated suicide bereavement counselling and programmes such as LOSS and support groups.

Website: sos.org.sg

If you’re in danger right now: 995/999. For immediate emotional crisis support: 1767 (SOS) or 1771 (Mindline).

Related pages: What to do after a deathPlanning a funeralLegal stepsSingapore • Help & support

This page provides information and support. It does not replace emergency or medical services. If immediate danger, call 995/999 (or use Emergency SMS 70995/70999).

FAQ

How long does grief last?

There isn’t a fixed timeline. “Getting better” often means the waves become more manageable and you get more air between them—not that you forget. Anniversaries and festivals can bring waves back. That can be normal.

What if I feel worse after the wake ends?

This is common. The adrenaline drops, visitors stop coming, and the house gets quiet. Use the 4-week minimum plan: weekly check-in, reduce obligations, protect sleep, and keep 1771/1767 visible.

If I can do only one thing right now?

Water → 10-minute tonight plan (breath/cold/ground) → don’t be alone. If risk rises: 1771/1767. If immediate danger: 995/999.

If you can’t get through to a helpline

If it’s busy: switch immediately (1771 ↔ 1767). Try again in a few minutes. If risk escalates, move to 995/999.