Bereavement Support
Grief is difficult because it cannot be “fixed.” You can’t fast-forward through it, and it rarely disappears overnight. For many people, the intensity of grief changes with time — it may come less often, or feel different — but the love and the sense of loss can remain.
This US guide brings together practical coping tips, guidance on when to seek support, what grief can feel like, and a directory of trusted US organizations and resources.
On this page
For practical next steps after a death, see What to do after a death or return to US Help & Advice.
Urgent help in the US
If you feel unable to stay safe, or you are having thoughts of ending your life, get urgent support immediately.
- In an emergency: call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
- For 24/7 crisis support: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — dial 988.
- If texting feels easier: Crisis Text Line — text HOME to 741741.
- If you’re supporting someone with substance use or you need treatment help: SAMHSA National Helpline — 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
If you can’t talk on the phone, many services also offer webchat options via their websites.
10 practical ways to cope with grief
You can’t make grief disappear, but small, practical actions can make the pain more bearable and help you get through the next hour, day, and week.
- Express your feelings. Talk to someone you trust, write privately, or use a journal if talking feels hard.
- Look after your body. Try “minimum care” targets: water, small meals, and rest when possible.
- Join a support group. Listening can help even if you don’t want to share yet.
- Let people help with practical tasks. If someone offers help, pick one concrete thing (meals, childcare, calls, paperwork).
- Try a new hobby. Creative or physical activities can give structure and gentle distraction.
- Revisit an old hobby. Returning to something you once enjoyed can be a meaningful step.
- Keep a simple routine. Basic structure (sleep, meals, a short walk) can reduce overwhelm.
- Avoid numbing with alcohol or drugs. Relief is usually temporary and can make grief harder long-term.
- Stay connected. Low-pressure contact can help. If you laugh, it’s okay.
- Create a token of remembrance. A photo, keepsake, memory box, ritual, or letter can keep love present.
When to get bereavement support
Grief is unpredictable and unique. Consider professional support if grief feels overwhelming or stops you from functioning day-to-day.
- Finding it extremely hard to get out of bed for an extended period
- Neglecting food, sleep, hygiene, medication, or responsibilities
- Feeling persistently hopeless, numb, or unsafe
- Withdrawing completely and avoiding all support
- Using alcohol or drugs more frequently to cope
- Having ongoing panic symptoms or feeling constantly on edge
- Feeling stuck in intense guilt, blame, or anger that doesn’t ease over time
- Not being able to return to essential daily activities (work/school/parenting)
- Thinking life isn’t worth living, or having thoughts of self-harm
These signs can be common early in bereavement. If they persist for weeks or months, therapy, bereavement counseling, or a support group can help — and support can still be beneficial even years after a loss.
Where people commonly seek help in the US
- Licensed therapist (psychologist, counselor, clinical social worker)
- Hospice bereavement programs (often open to the community)
- Community grief groups (local nonprofits, faith communities, hospitals)
- School or college counseling services
- Employee Assistance Program (EAP) through an employer
Grief vs depression
Grief and clinical depression can look similar: low mood, exhaustion, withdrawal, changes in sleep, and difficulty concentrating.
Grief often comes in waves and can be triggered by dates, places, music, or memories. Depression can feel more constant and unchanging. If you feel persistently hopeless, numb, or unsafe, reach out to a mental health professional, call 988, or call 911 in an emergency.
Understanding the grieving process
There are many theories about grief. None are rules. They are frameworks that can help explain common patterns in how grief affects thoughts, emotions, and daily life.
Common approaches include the dual process model (moving between grief and restoration), Worden’s tasks of mourning, meaning-making (rebuilding meaning after loss), and the five stages of grief.
The five stages of grief (overview)
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are often used as a simple way to talk about grief. These stages do not happen in a set order and may repeat. Acceptance does not mean forgetting — it means learning to live alongside the loss.
Coping with grief after a death related to alcohol or drugs (US)
Losing someone to alcohol or drug use is devastating. Alongside shock and sadness, you may be dealing with unanswered questions, stigma, complicated emotions, and sometimes an investigation by medical examiners or law enforcement. This section offers practical ways to cope in the weeks and months ahead and where to find US-focused support.
On this section
Why grief after alcohol or drugs can feel different
Bereavement after alcohol or drug use can come with extra layers that make everything feel heavier:
- Suddenness or trauma, especially with overdose or unexpected death
- Unanswered questions about what happened and why
- Stigma, judgment, or silence from others
- Complicated relationships, especially where addiction was involved
- Practical stress, including investigations, paperwork, or court processes
None of this makes your grief “less valid.” It simply means you may need different kinds of support.
Secondary loss and “disenfranchised” grief (stigma)
Secondary loss (grieving more than once)
When addiction has been part of someone’s life, bereavement can feel like the final wave in a long series of losses. Many people describe grieving before the death as well — for the person they remember, the relationship they hoped for, and the stability that addiction can take away.
Disenfranchised grief (when others don’t “make space” for your loss)
Grief after an alcohol- or drug-related death is sometimes met with silence, judgment, or discomfort. This can leave you feeling like you have to grieve quietly — or that you’re not “allowed” to talk about what happened.
- “They brought it on themselves.”
- “It’s not the same as other deaths.”
- “It’s too uncomfortable to talk about.”
That reaction has a name: disenfranchised grief — grief that isn’t properly recognized or supported by others. Your grief is real, valid, and worthy of care.
What you might feel (and why it’s normal)
Grief isn’t just sadness. It can be a mix of emotions that change hour to hour. You might recognize:
- Numbness / shock — feeling unreal, blank, or unable to cry
- Anger — at the world, systems, dealers, or yourself
- Guilt — replaying conversations, “if only I’d…” thoughts
- Anxiety — fear for other loved ones, panic, feeling unsafe
- Relief — especially after long-term addiction, chaos, or suffering
- Shame — often caused by stigma, not by anything you’ve done
A note about relief
Relief is one of the most misunderstood grief reactions. Feeling relieved does not mean you didn’t love them. It can mean you’re relieved the crisis, suffering, or uncertainty has ended.
If there’s a medical examiner or police investigation
In the US, unexpected deaths may involve the medical examiner/coroner system (and sometimes law enforcement). This can delay final cause-of-death information and can feel re-traumatizing.
- Ask who your point of contact is and how updates will be shared
- Ask what documents you can obtain now (and what will come later)
- Let someone you trust help you track calls, case numbers, and paperwork
- Protect your mental health — it’s okay to take breaks from details when it’s overwhelming
Coping strategies that actually help
These are small actions that can make grief more bearable — not by “fixing” it, but by helping you carry it.
- Give your feelings somewhere safe to go. Talk to someone you trust, write privately, or speak to a counselor/helpline.
- Protect your body (sleep, food, hydration). Aim for “minimum care” targets. If sleep/appetite problems persist, consider professional support.
- Avoid numbing with alcohol or drugs. If you notice you’re using substances to cope, reach out early for non-judgmental help.
- Choose the right kind of support. Some people prefer specialist services where they don’t have to explain the context.
- Lower expectations (especially early on). Grief affects concentration and motivation. Keep life simple. Delegate admin where you can.
- Build a “hard day” plan. One person to text, one grounding activity, one place you can go, one support line.
- Create a gentle way to remember them. A photo album, candle ritual, memory box, or letter can help love continue in a safe way.
Where to get US support
If you’d prefer support that understands substance-related bereavement, start with specialist options:
- GRASP: peer support after a substance-related death
- 988: 24/7 crisis support if you feel unsafe or overwhelmed
- SAMHSA: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for treatment/help resources
Full US support listings are below.
US organizations & resources
General bereavement support
GriefShare
Website: www.griefshare.org
Option B
Website: optionb.org
Children and young people
The Dougy Center
Website: www.dougy.org
National Alliance for Children’s Grief (NACG)
Website: childrengrieve.org
After the loss of a partner
Soaring Spirits International
Website: soaringspirits.org
Modern Widows Club
Website: modernwidowsclub.org
After the loss of a child
The Compassionate Friends (US)
Website: www.compassionatefriends.org
Miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal loss or SIDS
Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support
Website: nationalshare.org
MISS Foundation
Website: missfoundation.org
First Candle
Website: firstcandle.org
Phone: 800-221-7437
Bereavement support line (call for hours/availability).
Suicide bereavement
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) — Loss Support
Website: afsp.org
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors
Website: allianceofhope.org
Death related to alcohol or drugs
GRASP — Grief Recovery After a Substance Passing
Website: grasphelp.org
Shatterproof
Website: www.shatterproof.org
LGBTQ+ support resources
LGBT National Help Center
Website: www.glbthotline.org
Hotline hours vary — check the website for current times.
The Trevor Project
Website: www.thetrevorproject.org
If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.
Other helpful organizations
TAPS — Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors
Website: www.taps.org
Phone: 800-959-8277
24/7 support line.
MADD — Victim/Survivor Support
Website: madd.org
Parents Of Murdered Children (POMC)
Website: pomc.org
A note about seeking support
Seeking help does not mean you are failing to cope. It means you are taking care of yourself during one of life’s hardest experiences. Grief doesn’t need fixing — but it does deserve compassion, time, and support.
You may also find these US pages useful: What to do after a death • Planning a funeral • Legal • Government services